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Saturday, August 1st, 2009

Time Event
3:35a
Fox 5: Brute Girl
Dogs, she said. Four or so.

Whatever they were, they were big and had teeth bigger than they were. I didn’t expect them to be so close to shore, thought we’d get a chance to walk around and size the place up for a while, maybe see how many there were, but I guess the boat made too much noise. So here comes this puppy out of the tree-line, and I take the shot, because, well, there’s some dogs from hell on this island and I came here to shoot them. What’s the difference between a small dog from hell and a big one? Difference is, the small one grows up to be the big one. Or maybe that’s not how hell dogs work?

While the shot was still ringing out, I heard a voice in my head giving me advice it should have given me before I pulled the trigger, but it was too late for all that. Pooches were all over me, and I would have been a goner if not for a few good hits from Papa’s rifle. Reggie and the other guys helped too, I guess. The pooches low-tailed it back to the woods, and though I got one hell of a shot off on one of them, a real gut-grinder shot, they all got away from us, even the pup. It’s hard to be pissed about that, though, when your leg wants to fall off and your intestine is sort of peeking out going, “Howdy, how’s the weather?”

I stitched myself up partway now, but its just surface stitching. Inside, there’s pieces missing, and stuff is rubbing against other stuff that shouldn’t be. It fucking hurts and it’s hard to think past it. I probably shouldn’t have gone to Elysium, because I’m bad enough when I’m in one piece, but I wanted to find Jo. But there’s this new guy, some gigantic dude named Alexei with a busted nose, and standing around him felt funny, like the air was too heavy, and I felt like the pooch-shoot was a CATASTROPHY instead of just a setback, and hunting wouldn’t go well this week, and everything was gone to hell, but it turns out Alexei’s just a Noss? As soon as he left, I felt better, like I could breathe easier (which is dumb, because, you know).

Shit. That’s how people must feel about my face: much better when it’s gone. That makes me laugh. Ha Ha Ha!

Then I pissed off this new Carthy, Terrell. Woops! Looking back, I came on a little strong. I don’t have my shtick down right, yet. It’s not easy without Dame looming around telling me what to say and how to say it. But still, sensitive, are we? He told me not to threaten him, like, four times. Alright, pal, I get it. We shook hands and stuff, didn’t we? Relax! And he got on me about organized meetings, and how much they’re fascist? Even though I didn’t say anything about an organized meeting? Just a meeting! Like, we hang out and talk! I mean, the last time I met with Warrel, we just lay on the grass and had a chat. Nothing fancy there.

I really really REALLY hope Terrell isn’t one of these guys who remembers every little thing you said that made him upset, and spends an hour talking about how it made him upset every chance he gets. If so, I’m screwed, because I’m always saying stuff that upsets people, and I know it, and half the time I didn’t mean it that way anyway, and the other half of the time it isn’t important what I said or meant, so let’s drop it and just move on to something else, OK? I have a big, ugly mouth! I don’t even listen to half of what I say, why should you?

I can’t wait to get all us Carthies together in one room. It’ll be a hoot, no matter what. Honestly, I’m pleased. With Carcosa, in general. It’s a huge garbage heap full of monsters, but so was Charlotte, and I got used to that. I was so nervous coming here. So far, I haven’t been banned from Elysium or from the whole fucking city, and for me that’s really something! And it’s exciting to have so few of us in such a small pond. You make a little motion, and you splash the guy next to you. And they splash you back, quick as a fly. Charlotte felt like a swamp, slow and sluggish and so far to sink, and it felt like if you tried to leave, you’d lose your boots in the sucking mud and fall on your face.

Somehow, I got out.

I’m pretty sure most people think I’m some brute girl, now, cracking skulls and stuff like that. It’s funny because I haven’t even touched anyone. (Okay, I punched at Reggie, but he liked it, and he deserves it for pretending I’m a dog.) I think maybe I just like making Adrian think I’ll take his job, soon.

Time to call Warrel, tell him I might have scared off the new Carth on the block! That guy is so laid-back and steady choo-choo train, I bet if I told him I accidentally burnt down Elysium, he’d just say, “Well, Fanny, start rebuilding it, and call me if it looks like maybe you’ll burn it down again.” Then he’d make a joke about rutting some Daeva and disappear like he always does.

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